Psalm 25:4-5 (ESV)
“[4] “MAKE ME TO KNOW YOUR WAYS”, O LORD;
teach me YOUR paths.
[5] Lead me in YOUR TRUTH and teach me,
for YOU are the GOD of my salvation;
for YOU I wait all the day long.”
As I attempt to make certain that I follow “YOUR WAYS”, I find myself second-guessing myself that I am doing what is in HIS PERFECT will. The month of July 2007 was critical for my family, but for me I could do NO WRONG! I was in a coma and had NO CONTROL over anything that happened to me during those seventeen days!
The feeling of not being in control of anything is really sort of liberating. I remember the first few days of being “awake” again, I was so relaxed, almost “do whatever you want to me”!!! I was so “agreeable” that I didn’t want to do anything to alienate my nurses , a career that my mom had for most of my life. “MAKE ME TO KNOW YOUR WAYS” is something that I was taught without knowing that I was “in school”? I did exactly what I wanted to, but my “want to” was drastically different from three weeks prior!
The same position is something that I need to surrender to in my life today. My EYES need to be fixed on SEEING “MAKE ME TO KNOW YOUR WAYS” even when I am not focused on doing RIGHT! If I can SEE “MAKE ME TO KNOW YOUR WAYS” in front of my selfish desires, maybe I will FOLLOW HIM more frequently???
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