"But HE said to me, "MY grace is sufficient for you, for MY power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of CHRIST may rest upon me. For THE SAKE of CHRIST, then, I am CONTENT with weaknesses, insults, HARDSHIPS, persecutions, and CALAMITIES. For "WHEN I AM WEAK", then I am strong."
Most people know, as I talk about it frequently, that in 2007 I experienced a "massive" brain hemorrhage that hospitalized me for 52 days. Although I have regained full mobility since, the main "deficits" (disabilities) that remain are before the hemorrhage I was hot-natured and since the hemorrhage I am SUBSTANTIALLY cold-natured. Also, the hemorrhage occurred in a portion of the brain where "word-recall" happens. One of the reasons I began writing "blogs" was to assist me in developing my ability to FIND WORDS when I needed them.
While in the Rehabilitation Hospital I was assigned a couple of Speech Therapists to help with my "word-recall". I never could seem to master the tasks assigned by these ladies to regain my ability to select words more fluently, like I "used to have"! I still have some of the papers I was assigned to develop my ability to select words more readily, but the ability to speak more confidently has remained limited, and I didn't know why. That is until a few hours ago when reading my Bible before going to bed!
While reading 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 that I have highlighted on my iPad, I noticed WORDS that I must have read hundreds of times before but GOD chose this time to REVEAL things to me. In 2 Corinthians 12:7, Paul writes "So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, A THORN WAS GIVEN ME IN THE FLESH, a messenger of Satan to harass me, TO KEEP ME FROM BEING CONCEITED". When I read this I was almost set aback!
I have repeatedly wondered, even ALLOWED, why my "word-recall" hadn't improved to my former usage. When I saw 2 Corinthians 12:7 it was if GOD was telling me that Paul wasn't the only one who was KEPT FROM BEING CONCEITED! As I "was" confident (some say cocky!) in myself, since the hemorrhage I am extremely "not so sure" of myself. I, too, find that A THORN WAS GIVEN ME IN THE FLESH, TO KEEP ME FROM BEING CONCEITED!
Even though, AND since, I experienced the brain hemorrhage I have lost a LOT of confidence, I can rest assured that CHRIST has me "WHEN I AM WEAK"! Knowing that GOD is in TOTAL CONTROL, even of my "word-recall, makes it easier to understand that HE gets glory from my WEAKNESS when the WORDS have to be searched for! "WHEN I AM WEAK" HE provides the ability to speak WORDS that HE approves of. Therefore, I will GLORY in the fact that "WHEN I AM WEAK", then I am strong."
GOD gave me this devotional at 1:00AM this morning while "fretting" about something I had espoused over 6 months ago! A dear friend of mine thought he needed me to stand in his corner but the words I chose didn't measure up to what was deemed necessary to help him. I apologized profusely, but it didn't seem to matter. GOD continues to show me that I should be eternally grateful for EVEN the life that has been extended to me! "WHEN I AM WEAK" could have ceased to be written in 2007, but by HIS grace it continues, even today!
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